#BOYSONTHELINE

L E T ' S G E T S E R I O U S A B O U T B O Y S

Although our motivations differ, Carla and I have both had a keen interest in youth development for many years. For me, as a parent of both daughters and a son, it became obvious how much we put into baby and toddler development, even pre-school activities abound… then they taper off in the primary school years to be followed by an array of programs to develop the young teen girl.

After scouring the internet for self-help, personal development or coaching aimed at boys, never mind the critical stages of tween and teenage-dom, we were left feeling discouraged at the lack of support our boys are getting.

How do we develop our daughters and then leave our sons to their own devices? How do we expect our sons to miraculously know how to treat women, how to be themselves, how to say “No!” or how to successfully engage with the world, devices, women, and the internet if we don’t assist them too?

We couldn't find a program - so we developed one! Our #boysontheline Teen and Tween Workshops were born.

#boysontheline grew, as parents reported feeling unsure of how to brace the topics of body development, sex and pornography, body safety, masculinity as well as self and other protection. We are proud to present you with our workshops. All of our workshops are flexibly structured, allowing a customised presentation based on the needs of the participants - conversation shapes our presentations!

What sets us apart?

We don’t lecture.

We don’t speak with boys in groups of more than 15-20 at a time, and we sit with them, discussing topics they deem relevant to their lives. Lecturing has it’s time, place and purpose but we find really talking with the boys allows us far greater engagement and lasting impact.

We find out what they know and we fill the gaps in their knowledge and understanding. You'd be surprised at the misinformation and misunderstanding surrounding sex, consent and pleasure that STILL abounds.

In addition, while we believe in sexual morality, we don’t approach our workshops from an abstinence point of view… if we do, we lose over 90% of our participants instantly. The moment someone feels shamed, they are lost to your message. We refuse to lose them! We discuss what the boys ask us to (that requires discernment on our parts, as well as bravery). We maintain that children are generally not ready for the full implications of sex (for various reasons) but we are open to discussing and teaching around it when the questions invariably arrive. Boys are missing people who can give them honest answers, without exaggeration (from friends) or shame (from parents, teachers, religious leaders).

We encourage boys to think carefully before they make jokes of a sexual nature unless they truly know what they are talking about (more on this in the topic of social development). The boys can comfortably and without judgement, express their opinions and have them questioned if needed. They get to ask sensitive questions (which we mediate as necessary).

The workshop setting is comfortable, answers are honest, factually correct and are always given with mutual respect in mind. In the smaller groups we are able to gauge the knowledge level of each participant and are able to mediate conversations, herd distractions and protect the safety of each boy. Most of all, we are not afraid to have these discussions because the alternative is not talking about it is WAY WORSE - and that is something we should all be afraid of.

Available Workshops

Teen and Tween Boys

Open and honest conversations with boys about things relevant to their online and offline lives. Includes: #everything BODY #everything ON_LINE #everything SOCIAL

We customise as the need dictates but our preferred method of delivery is a 3 morning interactive workshop loosely following the structure below

Parent Education

Talking honestly with parents about bodies, boundaries, consent, abuse, sex, sexuality (and other things that generally make them uncomfortable, uncertain or overwhelmed). We know parents have questions - let us answer them. No question is too simple and there are definitely no questions that we won’t answer - even if WE blush.

Mom's Nights

The sex-education lesson moms wish you'd had - parenting edition.

Let’s face it: Talking to kids about sex, porn, and body fluids is uncomfortable at the best of times. We take the “Eeek!” out of it for you.

We offer a fun night where YOU get to ask all the difficult questions and get really honest answers (while sharing some laughs with your friends). These nights are aimed at helping you become more comfortable when talking to your kids about the big things.

Coffee Chats

Getting real answers to the scary questions....with coffee to make it better. We invite parents to put their fears to rest in a safe environment, by allowing us to take the fear out of having 'the talk' with their kids. We teach parents and caregivers how to start the conversation with confidence, and what facts to introduce - while remaining comfortably within their own value system.

Really Real Sex Talks

Conversations about teens and tweens, sex, development, relationships, the internet, respect and more. This conversation is for those who want to be informed and is certainly not for the faint-hearted. We make it our business to know what teens and tweens are doing, saying, and watching - the games, the sites - the highs, and lows.

We really want to give parents the tools and the confidence to have open, honest, and effective life/sex talks with their own children.

We regularly get asked if the “Sex Ed” that kids get at school is not enough.

Was yours?

Not too much has changed in this arena. Teachers (not all) are still horribly embarrassed by discussing sex and sex organs with a room full of equally embarrassed young people. The conditioning that sex is something secret and dirty is still firmly evident, with some schools refusing to teach the curriculum content at primary school level.

Grade 6 Life Orientation bravely broaches the topic of HIV and let me tell you, the mere mention of the words "sexual intercourse" or "bodily fluids" has the boys giggling and making jokes while the girls try to act mature whilst squirming inside. Even the Grade 12's want to shrivel when their teacher clinically describes body parts and menstrual cycles. How many teens find their teacher's truly relatable?

Would you be able to ask a 'silly', 'obvious' or 'daring' question while fearing being verbally berated for not knowing the answer, being stupid, inexperienced, or a weirdo? Could you ask a question comfortably and receive a truly honest and balanced response in a classroom setting? What if you struggled with your sexual orientation, have been abused or hold a different belief to the majority? Would you ask THOSE questions in a class full of awkward peers and an authority figure you possibly don't trust very much?

Could you get the help you need? The answers, even in the more liberal society of today is – UNLIKELY!

# B O Y S O N T H E L I N E

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